LET IT GO

Let it go

I was texting a friend. We have tried and tried to think of things to be able to say, HA David does lie!!!! This is how it went. I start.

OMG LINDSEY!!! I just thought of something!!! HIs mother says David doesn't lie. I have proof that he does!!!

How?

HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME! SHE HAS HEARD HIM SAY IT! THAT IS A LIE!

I'm sry...it's just...U dnt no maybe he did love you?..Maybe...bc I used to love trey...but now idk...and idk,,,about josh...I still think I have feelings for him...But I told him that I loved him...and I did...and I think i still do...but he never called, so i had to let him go...

He did love me. But...I think the last time he told me that, it was a lie. We were doing fine. We weren't fighting or anything. I just...don't understand. Did I love him more than he loved me? I even loved him more than I loved myself and that's saying something.

yeah...i know wut you mean...

Yeh...cuz when he last looked at me, he looked...sad. He kissed me with more passion than ever before, but I just didn't enjoy it enought, and I wishthat I could have my goodbye kiss over again. Cuz then I can enjoy it.

After we were done texting, I came to a sad realization.....no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I'm never getting him back. I just didn't see it before...until now. I never hurt him in any way...at least not that I know of. And....yeh we fought some, but if you don't fight a little, it's too perfect of a relationship. I never had to go to sleep mad at him. Our little fights were small and stupid. and they were resolved and forgotten within 10minutes. I dreaded the days I couldn't call him, as did he, or so I thought. I may not be a saint, I may not be the greatest person in the world, but I knew how to love him. He always said he wasn't perfect, but in my eyes, he was as perfect as perfect can get. Without him my life is going down hill. People say "Don't make someone your everything, cuz when they're gone, you have nothing" I made him my everything, and now, he is gone, and I have nothing. Nothing but wet eyes and used tissues. Nothing but sobs and the constant thoughts of him that randomly pop into my head out of nowhere. Everything I do, Everything I say, Every song I hear, reminds me of him and how much, I hate him for letting me fall in love with him. He once told me he loved me so much it hurt, as I told him the same. Was he telling the truth? Or was it just to make me feel good? I guess I will never really find out. Unless he reads this, and tells me himself. But even if he starts to read this, he probably won't finish, because he doesn't really care. He told me that he still does.....but I don't believe him. It may be that we were meant to be together and we may get another chance. Or it may not be. Either way, I have been waiting for him, and i still am. And I will keep waiting until I know positively, that it's time to move on............and finally.........let him go.